post by … m. lauren

I love visiting Cosmo’s (yes the girly magazine) website… I always find the best articles there… today I found one about the recent rash of Facebook notes (that I too am guilty of posting)… 25 Random Things…

Check out 25 Random things you wouldn’t wanna know about a dude… ew

1. I like to name my body parts. For instance, my left hand I call Jenna Jameson. My right, Bea Arthur.

2. I’m really good at driving drunk. My parole officer might not agree, but hey, everyone’s a critic.

3. I’m an ass and a breast man. Why’s a guy gotta choose?

4. My dream is to build a huge house on a few acres in the country for my future wife and kids. And an apartment over the garage for my mom.

5. I’m great at finding bargains for anything online. (Fun fact: I bought my first wife on the Internet.)

6. I am famous for continuous activity “streaks.” E.g., playing World Of Warcraft: 73 hours in a row. Not showering: 15 days straight. Not paying taxes: seven years and counting. (Suck it, Uncle Sam!)

7. I’m pretty superstitious. I freak out if anyone opens an umbrella indoors and I can’t get an erection unless I’m wearing my lucky jorts.

8. I am a huge movie buff. My new favorite, hands-down, is “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.” LOLZ!

9. My pet peeve: How Facebook randomly defriends you from people and then blocks you from re-friending them again. This happens to me, like, 10 times a day. What’s up with that?

10. I wish it were more socially acceptable for men to wear berets.

11. The words I live by: “Bros before hos,” “No fat chicks!” and “Whatever the question is, liquor is the answer.” Got T-shirts of every one too.

12. I mistakenly killed a cat once. Before you go all PETA on my ass, I didn’t know it belonged to the Rosenblooms next door. I eventually took care of the right one (my sister’s) a week later.

13. I love to scrapbook.

14. I am a proud organ donor. My kidney bought me my Xbox.

15. I was breastfed until I was 8. I think that’s why I have very sensitive nipples.

16. I have an irrational fear of shoe laces. Velcro, too, so I pretty much live in Crocs.

17. I can’t blink. It’s a genetic thing. You get used to it after a while.

18. I think the Olsen twins are the hottest girls on earth. I collect all their books and movies. My favorite is “To Grandmother’s House We Go.” They were smokin’ even back then.

19. My best memories are from the road trip to Vegas I took in ’05 with my boys. I’d say more, but what happens stays there stays there… you feel me? (Seriously, if you know what happened and say a word to the authorities, I will cut you. That is a promise.)

20. I have more meds in my bathroom cabinet than in a nursing home’s prescription closet.

21. I have acid reflux, but I just can’t give up hot sauce. That’s why my pillows might smell a little like vomit.

22. I eat a lot of asparagus. I don’t really like the taste of it, but I’m into how my pee smells afterward.

23. I have this thing about going to the bathroom in public places, so I never go further than a three-mile radius from my home.

24. I have a blog where I chronicle my sex life. It makes it hard to date because a lot of chicks have issues with my rating system. I say: Can’t handle the truth? Then don’t ride the bone coaster!

25. After reading over other people’s lists, I think you’ll agree that I’m the most interesting of all my friends. Ping me if you want 25 more reasons why…

via … Cosmopolitan